Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Wedding Planning 101

Thirteen months ago I was in the middle of planning my wedding. More precisely, I was right in the middle of the school semester as a full-time student, working two part-time jobs, and planning my wedding within a four-month time span. I'm an organized person, but at times, I felt like I was treading water.
When I first started looking around at prices for everything to make our wedding day fit together, I was totally and completely blown away by how much everything cost. I had never been involved enough in the planning of any of my friend's weddings to know what they cost, and I wasn't one of those people who have had their dream wedding planned out since they were a child.  Justin and I were paying for our wedding ourselves, and as I alluded by the full-time student, part-time employee piece, I didn't have much capital to work with.
At the beginning, we mentally and verbally set a few ground rules that really helped me navigate the whole wedding planning maze, and looking back, it made the whole process more peaceful.

  1. Our marriage was more important than the wedding.
  2. We would only spend money we had. No credit card debt, no counting on wedding gift cash.
  3. We love and value our family and friends, but this was our day. We weren't catering to schedules and special requests. 
One other thing that was a turning point for me was accepting Justin's help with almost every aspect of the wedding. I expected to be the stereotypical bride who plans the entire day, and Justin to be the stereotypical groom who merely shows up. No sooner had we started planning than my loving husband-to-be excitedly started giving me ideas and suggestions. I really did have a moment of panic. "Wait! That's not what I want!' In a rare moment of genius it dawned on me:   For the most part, I had no idea what I wanted for the wedding, so suggestions were a good thing, and there was no way, period, that I had the time to plan the wedding anyway. If we were going to do it in four months, it was going to be because of Justin working on the details.
The Keweenaw Peninsula of Michigan is a gorgeous place to live, but it sports all of one bridal store. When I walked in to do my veil shopping and saw that small, lovely piece of tulle going for $135, Google became my bridal salon. A few places I purchased items from stand out above the rest:
Ann's Bridal Bargains. Although I ended up purchasing our invitations elsewhere, I did buy our napkins here. I paid a little more than some other places, but I was able to really customize the font and colors, as well as see a full-size preview before ordering. I didn't find this option on any other budget site. The colors matched PERFECTLY to what I saw on the preview, and I was very happy with my choice to buy them here.
Wedding Band Wholesale. Yes, yes, I know. We were very nontraditional with refusing to buy any of our rings from a jewelry store. I shopped for Justin's ring at several local jewelry stores, but the quality of everything I found was cheap, with a ridiculous price tag. When I found the high quality ring I wanted through this website, with a price over 50% lower than the cheapest junk in the mall, I seriously felt like I won the jackpot. The ring is perfect, and I'm proud to see my husband wearing it each day.
God blessed our planning over and over in ways that took my breath away. The first was my wedding dress. I didn't have hundreds of dollars (not to mention thousands) for the style of dress I wanted, but I couldn't bear to buy a low-cost chiffon gown. I despise chiffon: the look, the feel, the cheap-ness, the tendency to rip. I was afraid that if I spent extra money on better fabric, I would have to settle for no embellishments. God made my dreams come true when a friend happened to ask someone who was selling prom dresses if he had any wedding dresses. He had one, size 10. I wasn't hopeful, and knew I didn't wear a 10, but decided it was worth checking out. When I slipped into the gorgeous DaVinci and stepped in front of the full-length mirror, I had that moment. It was my dress, and I didn't try on another one. It was a brand-new, albeit discontinued sample with a $900 price tag. I took it home for $125. I still can't believe it.


For our reception dinner, we really really wanted a catered meal. It was the first thing that we decided we wanted...and sadly one of the first things we had to cut out. We couldn't afford it. Once again God provided through my sister-in-law. Her food service connections enabled us to purchase food at a very low price, and she offered her time to do the set-up. I basically gave the reins to her and didn't even think about the food after that. We paid a member of Justin's church (who also has food service/prep experience) to do the actual cooking.
I planned to buy flowers online and hope that by some miracle they made it through the snowstorms okay and that I had time and skill to arrange them. A friend heard of my good budget intention and let me know there was no way I was going to do something so ridiculous, and she picked up the bill at a local florist and we ordered my bouquets and boutonnieres. It was amazing to show up at the church and simply pick up my bouquet. I also got my dream of red roses and white calla lilies. It was one of the few details I had always wanted.
I had dreamed of having the ceremony at my church, but the small space and limited parking were party stoppers. Justin's parent's church offered us their facilities free of rent as Justin was still on the membership. (We gave a donation to cover overhead, supplies, utilities, etc.)  And who could turn down the incredible natural light in this sanctuary?! (If I have one essential element for wedding photos, it's natural light!) We also decided to hold the reception in the fellowship hall. The space was very accomodating and we saved a lot by not renting a hall. Obviously, we couldn't have dancing or alcohol at the church. We went back and forth on that issue, but it came down to the fact that neither Justin or I even know how to dance, and the majority of our guests wouldn't miss the alcohol or had plans to go out with friends anyway since it was New Year's Eve. So we went with the fun option of an after-party at a local restaurant with a few close friends and relatives.

I'm so grateful for our friends and family who pitched in to help, without us asking. My new in-laws blessed us over and over...taking care of things I forgot. Like, coffee creamer. I wanted a coffee bar at our wedding, and somehow, even though I almost never drink coffee without creamer, it never crossed my mind. I was pouring my coffee at our reception when I realized someone had bought some. And the many people who I saw cleaning up, washing dishes, etc...we love you. Thank you for blessing our day. 



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